I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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