I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
