I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
