why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
