Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My ass is underappreciated
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
