i always forget guys have bellybuttons
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
