I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
