Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
