All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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