i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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