I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
