i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
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