I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Randomize
