Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
