I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
