Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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