i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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