Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
