We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
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