why didn't you poke me back
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
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