all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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