I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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