I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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