This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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