If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
