Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
