I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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