is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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