Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
