he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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