I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
