how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
