Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
