All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
