do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
