You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
