I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
