Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
She bit a glass in half.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
