She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Randomize
