I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
