you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
