Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize