I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
