Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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