You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
