idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Randomize
