Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
How does it feel to date your dad?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
