i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize