oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
