hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
