In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
