May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
