Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Me too!
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
