i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Someone came in the potted fern
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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