the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish I only lived at night.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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