Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize