The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize