yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
