...so i touched it.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Randomize
