GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
