This dress was meant to end up on your floor
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
