I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
