I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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