I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Pants are for mortals
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
